


The Sun Will Rise

by DarknessTurnsMeOn



Category: Avengers, Bucky Barnes - Fandom, Marvel
Genre: F/M, Nightmares, mentions of blood and death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-29
Updated: 2017-09-29
Packaged: 2019-01-06 20:19:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12218208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarknessTurnsMeOn/pseuds/DarknessTurnsMeOn
Summary: No matter how much your past haunts you, the sun will rise and it’ll be alright.





	The Sun Will Rise

**Author's Note:**

> Song of the title : The Sun Will Rise, Kelly Clarkson
> 
> Listening to the song is advised while reading.

 

**Y/N’s POV**  


Screams once again. It often happens in the middle of the night, always coming from the same bedroom. Bucky’s bedroom. Sometimes, they stop by themselves, sometimes Steve calms him down, sometimes he spends a night without nightmares. But tonight, there is no stop since more than an hour, no Steve calming him down and nobody else goes. I can’t sleep, I can’t face my own nightmares, I can’t face the past that’s haunting me as his haunts him, so I push away the blankets of my bed, walk towards the door, open it and go to his room.

Once in front of his door, I hesitate. What if he doesn’t want my help ? What if he sends me back to my room saying that’s not my business ? He has been distant those last time, like he doesn’t want me near him, like the friendship we have means nothing. And still, God knows how much I love that man, but he only seems to see me as a little fragile thing that must be protected during the missions, and not like a strong woman with powers she has since the day of her birth and trained by the SHIELD since she’s a teenage. Hearing another scream, I decide to knock the door.  
  
“Bucky, that’s me, can I come in please ?”, I say while hitting the wood.  
  
No answer, just heavy breaths. I have to open that door and go inside that room whatever I might see behind it. I put my hand on the doorknob and turn it.  
  
“Bucky”, I softly call his name again.  
  
I walk to his bed, he is lying in it, all sweaty, messy hair and sheets tangled around his waist. He’s a beautiful disaster. I know I can’t touch him to wake him up, Steve already told me that it was, or could be, dangerous, I could be injured or worse, and by worse, he obviously mean killed. That’s also Steve’s problem, seeing me like I am made of glass. I think that 40s boys have problems with strong women, well, maybe only with me, they’re not that overprotective with Nat. So here am I, standing in front of his bed, feeling helpless, I don’t know what to do and I can’t call for Steve tonight because I don’t know where he is, so there’s just me. I decide to try one last time, and I have no choice, I have to touch him.  
  
“Buck”, I whisper shaking his shoulder gently to wake him up.  
  
But that’s my mistake, his immediate reaction is to grab my wrist with his metal arm and tighten it, tearing me a cry of pain.  
  
“Bucky, please stop, it’s me”, I manage to say between my tears. “Please, you’re hurting me. Wake up.”  
  
He suddenly sits, opens his eyes and after looking right into mine, let my wrist go.  
  
“Y/N”, he says. “Oh God, did I hurt you ? Are you okay ?”  
  
“Yes, yes, I am, don’t worry”, I answer. “It wasn’t your fault, it was mine, I knew that I shouldn’t touch you, but I called you a few times and you didn’t wake up.”  
  
“I’m sorry”, he says while turning the light of his lamp on. “Show me your arm.”  
  
I comply, and he takes my little wrist into his two big hands with kindness, making me sit on his bed. He slowly flip my wrist to watch the little red mark he made inside with his Vibranium fingers.  
  
“You’ll have a bruise. I’m sorry.”  
  
“Please stop saying you’re sorry. Steve warned me, that’s my fault.”  
  
“What are you doing here, doll ?”, he suddenly asks after a few minutes of silence.  
  
“I heard you scream in your sleep, and Steve’s not here, so, I decided to come and see if I could wake you up and calm you down.”  
  
“Did I wake you ?”  
  
“No, I wasn’t sleeping”, I say looking away from my hand between his.  
  
“You should go then”, he tells me letting my arm go.  
  
Is he trying to get rid of me ? I rise from his bed and walk back to the door, when I glance at him one last time. His eyes are staring at the window, lost in the space, few drops of sweat on his forehead and his bare shoulders. He’s not right, and he’ll never be.  
  
“What was your nightmare about ?”, I ask, the question burning my lips.  
  
He slowly turns his head towards me, locking his mesmerizing blue-grey eyes with mine, and I can read fear in it, his mouth extending as a sad smile, I’m even able to feel it, his body irradiates of fear. Being an empath is useful sometimes, well, it is when you control your powers, which is not really my case, even when the only emotion you’re capable to detect is fear, the worse in that power is that it increases my own fear when I’m afraid, not allowing me to make any move.  
  
“HYDRA having me back, and forced me to kill all of you and then, when it was done, they wiped and tortured me all over again.”  
  
I break the eye contact at the end of his confession when he’s still looking at me.  
  
“I probably should go and let you go back to sleep”, I say grabbing the doorknob and opening the door, ready to go back to my bedroom.  
  
“No, please stay”, his voice hardly stronger than a rustle. “At least until I fall back to sleep.”  
  
I sigh, close the door and make my way back to his bed. He lifts the sheets of the right side of the bed for me to settle down and scoots next to me at the second I sit. He lies back on his stomach this time, resting his head on my lap, his face turning to my side, automatically my hands find their way to his long chestnuts hair, slipping through his soft locks. A sigh of satisfaction escapes his gorgeous plump lips, encouraging me to continue my motion on his head.  
  
“What do you do when you can’t sleep ?”, his voice asks, breaking once more the silence.  
  
“I sing to myself. My mom used to do it when I was little and had nightmares”, I answer.  
  
“Sing something to me, doll.”  
  
“James, I don’t know if…”  
  
“Please”, he cuts me, looking at me with that lost puppy gaze I can’t resist.  
  
I sigh and start to sing, the same song I repeat to myself like a motto when the night and my memories are too dark and when I’m scared. My hands are still running through his hair, and it seems to calm him down.  
  
_I can see the wait there in your eyes  
I can feel the thought in your sigh  
Your knuckles are bruised from a losing flight  
One way down a dead end street  
Broken glass underneath your feet  
You think the day won’t break the sunless night_  
  
I feel him relax against my legs while I’m singing, nuzzling my thighs, his flesh hand reaching my left one to lace his fingers with mine. It’s unexpected and kinda disturbing, I wasn’t prepare to that, however, I continue to sing, while slipping further in the bed to lie down, Bucky’s head finishing on my stomach.  
  
_The sun will rise  
The sun will rise  
When you’ve lost your lights  
The sun will rise  
It’ll be alright  
It’ll be alright_  
  
By the end of the song, he is asleep, and I feel my eyes closing by themselves. I allow sleep to take over me.  
  
The sunlight hits my face, and I realize that it’s the morning. I rub my eyes and stretch my body, suddenly noticing that I’m not in my bedroom, not in my bedroom and with a weight on my legs. When I open my eyes, I spot Bucky’s head on my right knee and start to remember why I’m here. I gently lift his head from my body and slowly sneak out of his bedroom to return to mine in order to get some more sleep and a shower.  
  
“Someone’s doing the walk of shame”, I hear Sam’s voice behind me.  
  
“Seriously ? You and Barnes ?”  
  
“There’s nothing between Bucky and me, Sam. We’re just friends.”  
  
“Yeah, just friends, that’s why you’re sneaking out of his bedroom at that early morning hour”, he mockingly says. “We all said that at least once Y/N, you know.”  
  
“I don’t want to have that conversation with you, I’m going back to my room”, I respond him.  
  
“Wait for Steve to know that”, he chuckles thinking I don’t hear him.  
  
“I’m not banging James Buchanan Barnes !”, I yell at him from the other side of the hallway.  
  
Time I reach to my door, I hear another one opens and Tony’s head appears.  
  
“Who’s banging Frosty ?”  
  
“No one, Sam is just making a dirty movie in his dirty mind”, I answer before closing my door and falling straight on my bed before going back to sleep quickly.  
  
I wake up again few hours later and when I head to the kitchen, Sam is in the kitchen making his coffee, when Tony is eating eggs, sit around the kitchen island.  
  
“Hi”, I say, waving to them.  
  
“Look, Bambi is awake”, Sam says, referring to the pajamas I’m wearing, before adding. “And she’s not as innocent as she looks.”  
  
I give him a nasty look and see his eyes getting bigger.  
  
“Well, this is the other half of the duet. Enjoyed yourself last night Barnes ?”  
  
“What ?”, Bucky asks, stopping himself right behind me.  
  
“How cute, they are in sync on their ‘we don’t know what are you talking about ?’ thing”, Sam mocks before sitting on his chair.  
  
“You were gone when I awake, I thought you would still be in my bed”, Bucky suddenly whispers in my ear, his mouth grazing my skin.  
  
“I went back to my room, I needed some sleep.”  
  
“And that’s how you are supposed to make us believe that you don’t sleep together”, says Sam, looking at the both of us and how close our bodies are.  
  
I scoot away from Bucky, passing by Sam to reach the closet to grab a mug, slapping the back of his head when I’m next to him.  
  
**Bucky’s POV**  
  
I watch her training. She’s stronger than she looks, her sweetness hides a warrior. Her short hair moves with every motion she makes, her eyes focus on the target she tries to hit. She’s fast and very talented with the knives. But I know that she’s hiding something under that strong self-confidence. I don’t know her story, but she has that look in her eyes, that one I know too well, the look of someone haunting by her past. She’s beautiful, beautiful and damage. I’m so lost in my thoughts about Y/N that I barely hear Steve sitting next to me.  
  
“So I heard about the sneaking out.”  
  
“Sam should get over it, it’s been two weeks, and we don’t do anything. She just helped me with my nightmares. Nothing more”, I explain.  
  
“For you, that’s all she did, but we all noticed the way you look at her Buck. Anyways, it seems that whatever she did, it works, you didn’t have a nightmare in two weeks.”  
  
“She sang to me. Ever since I just have to think about her voice saying the words and it calms me down.”  
  
“She does it to herself sometimes, singing I mean. I already heard her.”  
  
“She told me that’s what her mother did when she had nightmares. It worked, so I owe her one”, I add before standing up before going out of the training room.  
  
Two weeks without any screams in the middle of the night, too good to last. Screams wake me up, but for once, they are not mine. I open my door and start to walk in the hallway. The screams are cut by sobs and complaints. It all comes from the room of the very same person who comforted me two weeks ago. I don’t even take the time to knock and open the wooden door immediately.  
  
Y/N is tangled in her sheets, still crying and complaining, her hand clench in fists hitting the mattress as if she is fighting someone. I sit on her bed and grab her shoulders, shaking her gently.  
  
“Y/N, wake up.”  
  
Her only reaction is to sit up and hit my chest while screaming “Leave me alone, don’t touch me.”  
  
“Doll, wake up, that’s me. You’re safe.”  
  
Her eyes open and she looks straight into my face.  
  
“Bucky”, she whispers.  
  
“That’s okay, I’m here and you’re safe.”  
  
She suddenly pulls me in a hug, and holds on tight as she is afraid that I’m going to vanish. I reach my hand to her hair and start to caress it while she’s trying to breathe normally.  
  
**Y/N’s POV**  
  
He’s holding me and I don’t want to let go. I’m afraid to sink back in my nightmare if I let him go. His flesh hand slips through my hair and I can feel his hot breath on my shoulder.  
  
“Y/N, if you don’t let me go I’m going to die of a lack of air”, he says after a few minutes.  
  
“Sorry”, I pull away, trying to dry the tears still falling from my eyes.  
  
“Tell me what was that nightmare about.”  
  
His hand is still in my hair and I take a deep breath before starting.  
  
“You remember, the other day, I told you that when I had nightmares, my mother sang to me.” He nods. “That was before she and my father were killed when I was seven years old.” He scoots closer, letting the strands of my hair, to take both my hands in his. “It was in 1994, my parents worked for the SHIELD, and they knew, and the SHIELD knew too, that I had some special powers which I was born with, empathy, but the only emotion I’ve always been able to detect was fear. Apparently, HYDRA learned that too, and they sent agents after us, and we were forced to often move. The SHIELD was covering our traces, but, one day, I don’t know how, and no one never figured it out, but HYDRA found us before we could leave the town we were in. We stopped and it was all my fault, I was hungry and that was selfish of me, they accepted to stop in that tiny restaurant before we go. That’s where they found us. It was a real bath blood, I was the only survivor of it. My mother told me to hide, and I complied. I had no choice.”  
  
At that memory, my eyes are full of tears again, and I feel Bucky’s hands slipping away from mine. His blue gaze becomes darker and I feel his body tense, and fear emanate from his body, mixing with my own. The room is full of fear and I can barely manage it. Suddenly, he seems to have a breakthrough and looks away from me.  
  
“Do you know… Do you remember if I was there ? If the Winter Soldier was there ?”  
  
“I… I… don’t know I was seven years old, I was afraid, everyone around me was dead.”  
  
“Just answer the question”, he says grabbing my shoulder and shaking me roughly. “Was I there or not ?”  
  
“I don’t know”, I nearly scream the answer, hoping that no one would hear me.  
  
“You don’t know, but I do. I remember, the restaurant, all the costumers, old, young people, kids, the blood on the walls, on the floor, on the tables. I remember everything Y/N, even that seven years old little girl I was supposed to catch to take her back to HYDRA, that little girl that I saw running away from the restaurant, covered with blood. I have to go away from you. I can’t stay here.”  
  
He gets up ready to rush out the bedroom, when this time, I really scream.  
  
“Don’t you dare go away from me James Buchanan Barnes ! This is not your fault, it wasn’t you !”  
  
“How do you know that it wasn’t me ?”  
  
“Because I know you. You’re kind, gentle, funny, overprotective, that monster is not you.”  
  
“And that’s a girl who’s seventy years old younger than me who wants to make me believe it. I killed Tony’s parents, and we just figure it out that I killed yours too. There is no way I stay around you”, he says reaching the door.  
  
“Please, James”, I say, tears running down my cheeks once again, my eyes glue to the wooden floor. “Stay with me, I need you.”  
  
It seems to break down his bridges, and he comes back to me, lifts my chin, before taking me back again in his arms.  
  
“I’ll stay, doll”, he mumbles in my hair, then putting a kiss on my forehead. “You know I’ve been listening to that little song of yours, let me do the same that you did for me. But I’m afraid I’m not going to sing this as good as you did.”  
  
“It doesn’t matter as long as you’re here with me.”  
  
He sits back on the bed and turns on the song on my mobile, and starts to sing to me, the words echoing both our stories.  
  
_I’ve been in stuck in a storm before  
Felt the wind raging at my door  
Couldn’t move couldn’t breathe, couldn’t find a way out  
Somehow my clouds disappeared  
Somehow I made it here  
Maybe just so you could hear me say_  
  
We are sitting on my bed face to face, cross-legged, his big hands finding their way to my tiny ones, the palm of mines against his, until the moment he laces his fingers with mine.  
  
_The sun will rise  
The sun will rise  
When you’ve lost your lights  
The sun will rise  
It’ll be alright  
It’ll be alright_  
  
Our gazes meet. He leans his forehead on mine. Our noses bump against each other.  
  
_Although you can’t see it  
So hard to believe it  
Sometimes you just need a little faith  
There’s an answer to your pray  
And I swear that it’ll come a day_  
  
His lips are ghosting mine.  
  
_The sun will rise_  
The sun will rise  
The sun will rise  
The sun will rise  
It’ll be alright  
  
Until the moment he puts his lips on mine and kisses me with an unexpected sweetness. His right hand find my cheek, while his left arm wraps around my waist, both my hands wrap around his neck, and I start to play with the hair at the back of his nape, before making my way up to his dark hair. When we pull away to breath, there is a smile on both our faces. We lie down on the bed, cuddling into each others arms in the silence of the night before falling asleep.  
  
The song is right, the sun will rise and it’ll be alright. 


End file.
